


604800 Seconds

by hansungchan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Coming of Age, Fantasy, Friendship, Gen, I think?, M/M, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slice of Life, idk how to tag this really, word vomit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26546020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hansungchan/pseuds/hansungchan
Summary: He was told long ago that Time has abandoned him. If it is so, then why is he racing through it to save a boy he barely knew?
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries okay .-. 
> 
> I don't wanna put a lot in the tags to avoid spoilers so just in case, I'll put a warning at my notes through the beginning of every chapter if there's a scene that could stir trigger to some readers. Read the tags carefully and expect that this is a word vomit with the overuse of metaphors at some point. You know, Imma just stop explaining bec tbh half of the time, IDK what's going on here either. I leave it to y'alls imagination
> 
> \- sungchan

I’m not so sure about a lot of things. In fact, I doubt I even know a thing. It feels like I’m in a dream. But then, what is a dream again? How is it relevant to my existence? Out of all the unfamiliar words trapped inside me, I don’t know why I chose that specific word to define my feelings and thoughts. I just know it had to be that one. _Dream._ For a particular second and the following milliseconds, it rolls at the tip of my tongue. And I repeat it. Again and again.

I’m not so sure about a lot of things. In fact, half of what I’m thinking I have no idea of the meaning. Each word is unfamiliar, but never foreign. I just put them all together in my head, and somehow it makes sense. I know I am not speaking fool. But with my lack of knowledge, it is impossible to know if that is a good thing or not.

I’m not so sure about a lot of things. But I do know how to describe the place I opened my eyes to. It is a vast emptiness- this sight. And I am standing near the edge of this huge boulder in a paling shade of copper. Other than that, everything is black. There is no sound. It’s as if silence only lives here, any kind of music and noise are dead. There is no light either. At least, not from where I stand. Yet how was I to know? I do not bother to look below, and I cannot see anything from the absolute void beyond and in front.

I’m not so sure about a lot of things. But I felt like I was on top of something. The universe, perhaps? I don’t know what that is. One thing I do know, however, is it would be a shame to think of this place as the Earth. Whatever that might be. There is something far, far much bigger and wider waiting ahead of the horizon. Somewhere beyond those pitch darkness and unseen range, or maybe below this platform I am standing on. I wonder if someone ever dared to jump under or fly above. And if someone did, I’m curious as to know if they saw something interesting beyond those seas of uncertainty and harrowing abyss.

I’m not so sure about a lot of things. And still, when I felt a tap on my shoulder, I understand it is a basic and common courtesy to acknowledge the perpetrator. So I look back to meet the newcomer. A man in black, with intimidating aura and far taller than I. I had to glance up to meet his gaze.

I’m not so sure about a lot of things. And still, I know a smile when I see one. This guy had 'em on his lips; a kind yet a little strained smile when he pats my head and kneels on one knee to match my height.

“How are you, little boy?” he asked.

I’m not so sure about a lot of things. Especially on how to answer his particular question. So I didn’t.

He sighs, then he stands up. Beside me, he stared at the open space in front. I scrutinized his piercing eyes and imagined them penetrating inside those thick fog of darkness that is impossible to get through.

I found my mouth opening, asking the question I’ve been curious about for who knows how long. “Where am I?”

The unknown man didn’t spare me a glance. Instead opting to look ahead. “That’s a tricky question, kid. And I always find that one particular question hard to answer.”

“Why?”

He gave me a mysterious smile when he finally glanced my way. “Because there is no such thing as place. Only time.”

“Time?”

“Uh-huh. And time is standing right in front of you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Of course you won’t. No one ever does from the start. But you’ll come to learn. With my help, that is.”

“Who am I? Why... can’t I remember anything?”

I watch as the corner of this strange man’s lips twitch not in a mocking manner but out of a habit when in deep thought. Then I heard a sound- the first after so long. The noise he produced when he clicked his tongue.

Then he turns to me again. “You are... no one.”

“No one?”

The man shrugs. “In my realm, those like you are simply... no one. Because Time has left you. You have no purpose to exist. Look around you. This is the embodiment of your value. There is _nothing_ but void and nothingness, just unfilled spaces everywhere.”

“But you just said time is standing right in front of me.”

“Ah, you’re an intelligent boy. That’s right.”

“You are... Time?”

“I go by a lot of names. But when Life gave birth to me, Time is created.”

“So why are you here if you claimed that you abandoned me?”

“When did I say I abandoned you? I said I left you, not abandoned. Abandonment is a strong word, little one.”

“Well then what do you want?”

Time had a smile written all over his face especially when he offered me his hand, which surprised me. “I want us to jump,” he said neutrally.

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me loud and clear. I want us to jump, little boy,” Time said in an all-too-serious tone and stimulating stares.

“But it’s...” _‘...so high,’_ I wanted to add.

I was cut out from my inner conflict when I heard the man beside me chuckling. Shoulders shaking as if he just heard the absurdest joke ever.

“Tell me, boy, are you scared?” is his taunting question.

I wanted to say yes- I was _about_ to say yes, but I stopped halfway. And then I look at the pool of darkness beneath us. I asked myself the same thing. _Am I scared?_

No. The answer is no, I’m not scared. In fact, I don’t feel anything.

Time had tilt his head as if saying, “See?”. And then he flaps his hand again, reminding me of the forgotten hold that is still hanging and waiting to be reached.

"Shall we?”

I bit my lip. “What’s underneath?”

“You’ll see.”

His hand eloped with mine, filling the gaps between my much smaller fingers with his longer ones. Together we jumped off the edge. I close my eyes as I fell down, waiting and anticipating for that hard impact that will follow once we collide into whatever is below.

But it never happened. At least not for a very very long time.

***

Everything is loud in the ear. An intense shift from the complete absence of sound earlier. Wait, how long has it been again? I’m not sure. But it does feel like a very long time before flashing colors and sounds permeate my senses.

I found myself lying on the ground. Unexpectedly, there is no pain eating my body and muscles away. One that you would expect from someone who fell from high above. And I’m certain I’ve come a long way. So why... _why can’t I feel anything_?

Looking up, I saw the same dark and lonely color of the desolate space I came from. Only this time, it doesn’t look as limitless. Not in the way back to that isolated place.

And it is dropping liquids. The same liquids shot straight to my eyes, obscuring my sight. I rubbed my eyes with my hands. Only to see my short fingers marred with a dark crimson and fresh bruises. Looking at it, I thought of the immense pain I should’ve been feeling but have not.

Still, I couldn’t feel anything. It’s all nothing. Not even the sturdy raindrops is enough to make me shiver. _Where am I?_

I look straight ahead, eyes stretched wide and unblinking over the light heading towards me. It stopped in a safe distance away from me, though the headlights never dim.

A boy came out of the car hurriedly. I was too late to realize he is dashing towards me. I only did when he stopped and crouched in front of me. His blonde hair slowly getting soaked by the heavy rain and so is his angelic face.

“Little boy, are you okay? Where are your parents? Oh my god, let me take you to the hospital okay?” the blonde boy said in a hurry, his tone in a panic, and his eyes screams of fear.

I look into his eyes. A name pops into my head like it was always meant to be there. Suddenly, I’ve never been this certain to call over someone with their name rolling past my tongue.

“ _Renjun.”_

The male, no- _Renjun_ , stopped on his blabbering. Pursing his wet red lips as his curious eyes stare down to me like I just said something wrong. Our eyes locked for a minute. To which, in between that minute, I felt an unbearable pain inside my chest.

And no, it didn’t come from your typical physical pain. Though I couldn’t understand the lengths of that yet really. This just feels something more personal, more on the anguish side than your everyday ache. Like an activated poison- though it has always been there.

“ _Renjun,”_ I repeated. That name itself crushes my heart in ways I shouldn’t be feeling.

‘ _Why?’_

My eyesight was once again blurry. Could it be the dripping rain? I wonder.

But I held on to the hem of Renjun’s pink hoodie. It crumples on my hand. Though I couldn’t feel it, I know I’m squeezing it with how tight I hold on to the fabric.

‘ _Don’t go.’_

_Renjun._

_Renjun._


	2. Chapter One: 86400

I was rushed to the nearest hospital facility. A couple of females in white clean uniforms attend to my bruises that didn't sting at all. At some point they all wear friendly and sympathetic faces, speaking to me with their honey-sweet voice in a promise that whatever acid it is they brush in my scars will not hurt. Turns out, I had a lot of them. My little knuckles, elbows, wrists, forehead, and cheeks- all of them are covered in fresh swollen marks that they made sure to be gentle cleaning ‘em.

When the last one on my knuckle is finally concealed with a plain bandage, the nurse let go of my hand. She and the others headed to Renjun who was busy pacing and typing through his phone near the door. They exchange words, and I saw a single nod from Renjun before all those females left.

Then Renjun came to me.

“Kid, tell me what do you feel? Do you feel dizzy? A headache? Do you wanna sleep?” he asked.

‘ _Nothing. I feel nothing,’_ I wanna say. But a part of me whispers I am in no condition to voice that. So I simply shake a head.

Renjun sighed. His hand went to my back. “Before we came here, you spoke my name. How did you know that? I’m pretty sure we’ve never met before, haven’t we?”

His eyes were so intense, stares unwavered. I’m pretty sure I'm close to melting though I don’t precisely know how it could work. And yet I failed to look away. I like his eyes, I think. Up close, it’s really pretty. Warm. And kind.

I too am sure I’ve never met him. I don’t remember seeing that face from the past. But his eyes look so familiar. I wanna get lost to it.

“We haven’t,” I answered after a while.

“Then how do you know my name?”

“I don’t know.” _‘I just do.’_

Renjun released a deep breath, for a minute he looks like he’s in deep thought. Then he asked me again, “What’s your name?”

My name? “I... don’t know.”

He frowns. “You don’t?” I nodded. Then he observed me, obscenely scanning my form from head to toe. The longer he takes, the more prominent the frown on his face.

“Tell me, boy, how old are you? By your height and face, you look not below than 10 years old. It’s impossible for someone your age to forget your name. If you are a five-year-old it is plausible. But by the looks of it, you could pass as a grade 5 student.”

I found ease in fiddling with my fingers while Renjun put me in an unbearable hot seat. My insides churn in an uncomfortable way that I so badly wanna answer his questions but I can’t. Or more like, I don’t know how.

“I... I don’t know,” was an another pathetic response of mine.

Renjun might have noticed my discomfort because he sat beside my bed and when he spoke again, his voice is much softer. Less sharp. “How about your parents? Where are they?”

I shake my head again. “I don’t know.”

“Then just tell me how did you get in front of my apartment? Where did all these bruises come from? Did someone hurt you?”

I look into his eyes. “I don’t know.”

Renjun sighs hopelessly. I wait in silence as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Others might misinterpret the action into annoyance and I should exhibit fear by the possible fact that I could’ve pissed off the only person I ever knew. But for some reason, I trust him not to get mad. I trust him with myself. I trust him more than I ever trusted anyone.

“We have no other choice. I should take you to the police. Your parents could be seriously worried about you by now,” he said after a minute of pondering.

I nodded absently.

Since I was only injured, Renjun said the doctor signed my release tonight. They only talk for a short while before Renjun came back and offered to take my hand.

As soon as our hands eloped, I felt a tingling shock throughout my palms and fingers. It’s too strong to ignore and I had to muffle out a wince when Renjun tried to hold my hand tighter. I quickly pull my hand away, saying that it’s okay and I can walk on my own. Renjun looks surprised but he nodded nonetheless and just let me be. We rode a cab and headed straight to Renjun’s apartment.

“Tomorrow, we’ll go to the police station early in the morning to find your parents okay? Or to see if there’s any missing child reported at the station. Let’s just hope your family also lives around the city,” Renjun began once we're inside the cab. “For now, you could stay a night over my place. I live alone now anyway, you can use the spare room.”

I listened carefully to everything and nodded my head. “Okay,” I whisper.

Renjun shifted from his seat to look at me. “ _Okay?_ I can’t believe a kid is talking informally to me. You should say “Yes, hyung. Thank you.”, and don’t forget to leave out the hyung. Don’t think I forgot how you only called me by my name when we just met a few hours ago.”

I blink at him, finding any traces of anger in his face. There is none. In fact, he holds a small smile as he attempts to give me a lecture with Korea’s basic manners and tradition. At this very second, he really does looks like a hyung scolding his younger brother for stealing his food.

“Now try it. Say, “Yes hyung, I got it.”,” he pushes.

“Yes hyung, I got it.”

Renjun let out a soft and fond smile, letting his hand ruffle through my hair. “Good boy. As for now, Renjun hyung doesn’t know what to call you. Do you want me to give you a temporary name?”

I don’t see the problem with that, Besides, it’s not like I really have a name. Or if I did, it’s long gone to be recalled. “Sure, hyung.”

“Hmm,” Renjun put a finger on his chin, calculating his choices. “How about... Yue? It’s short and very easy to pronounce. What do you think?”

I thought about it for a while before speaking. “ _Yue?_ Isn’t that the Chinese word for the moon?”

“How do you know that?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

“ _Do you speak Chinese?”_ he now asked in Mandarin.

For odd reasons, I know the name of the language and I understand it perfectly.

“I think I do,” I responded in the same language.

“Whoa. Now I wonder if you’re Korean. Oh god, let’s just hope your parents aren’t in China and they accidentally left you behind here or something.”

I look away, opting to stare out the window instead throughout the remaining ride.

But anyway, my name now is Yue. Or a temporary name, whatever. The longer I think about it, the more I realized I like it. _Yue._ Like the moon shining so lonely in the sky along with the scattered stars. Unfortunately, there is no moon tonight due to the heavy rainfall a few hours ago. The sky only had dark clothes hiding the moonlight and the twinkling stars.

We arrived at Renjun’s apartment in no time. Like what he promised, he offered me a bed to stay for the night. His old roommate’s bed is still a little messy with the things he had yet achieve to pull out. At least I get to borrow his pillows and drape myself over his covers. Renjun also attempts to offer me food at least but I decline. I am not really hungry. I have not for a very long time.

“Here. Change your clothes with this. Your clothes have been soaked due to the rain and you need to change lest you wanna catch a cold. If you ever need or feel anything, I’m just in that room. Knock me up anytime,” Renjun said, placing a set of old pair Pjs and then pointing at the room adjacent to this.

I stare at the blue stripes Pjs. Unintentionally, I ran my hand over the folded pair. Renjun probably noticed and mistaken my silence for dislike because he followed it with an apology.

“Sorry, kid, that’s all I had. My size is pretty small and that’s one of the old clothes I barely wear now because I’ve overgrown it. I’d ask my friends tomorrow if ever-”

“No, hyung, this is okay. Thank you. I like this actually.” I hugged the pair to my chest.

“You did?”

I nodded, flashing a genuine smile. “I do. They look comfortable.”

“Okay, then you go wear it. And also Yue...?”

I stare at him, waiting for his next words.

Renjun was biting his lip, fingers rubbing on the metal knob of the door as he hesitated whether to speak or not. For a long suffocating silence, he battled with his inner conflict and I could only bet whether he won or not when he opened his mouth with much ease next.

“Are you okay?”

Huh? I wonder what made him ask that. Could I possibly be showing something misleading through my expression and body language for him to say that? I don’t know if I’m okay, to be honest. I’m just simply numb and just _this_. Whatever _this_ is. I don’t feel physical pain if it’s the bruises he’s worried for. Nor do I feel anything weird in my chest again. There is just nothing really. And maybe that’s not so bad.

So if this is what feeling okay means, then... “Yeah, I’m okay hyung.”

He looked like he’s still hesitating by the way he threw me an analyzing look, especially my face. I tried to flash a smile to assure him and it looks like it did a trick when he gave up but not without lifting an eyebrow and another piercing stare.

“Just... don’t hesitate to come to me. I’ll be in my room. Good night, kid.”

“Good night.”

When Renjun left the room with one last glance, closing the door that separates us two. I quickly change into his clothes that I found myself liking so much. Could it be the design? I don’t think so. It’s too mundane for me but at the same time, I also like that it is. And it fits me perfectly. As if this set is made for me.

I grin, jumping on the bed and falling on my back. When is the last time I slept in a bed? I don’t remember- again. Though I couldn’t exactly describe the softness (or is this mattress rough?) of it because obviously I couldn’t appreciate it with my whole body all grown from the numb it, it’s still nice.

I stare at the ceiling for an hour or two. I close my eyes and hope to still remember all of this when I wake up.

***

I opened my eyes to the sound of someone frantically speaking at a rapid speed followed by the metal clashing. I rose from the bed and went to the source of all the noises. It guided me to the dining, where I saw Renjun hyung furiously struggling with the pan and stove.

“Uh, Renjun hyung?” I called out for him.

He turns around, shortly forgetting his task at hand, and is quick to throw me a smile. “Yue, you’re awake. Wait for a sec while I’m preparing your breakfast. Ow, shit!” Renjun winced because of the boiling oil that scrapes his skin the second he diverted his attention off whatever it is he’s frying.

I lazily sat on one of the chairs, feet swinging under the table. I watch attentively as Renjun hyung clumsily transferred the sausages and sunny side up into a plate already stuffed with rice. I am not hungry, and to be honest, I don’t know what to expect from a thing I couldn’t smell nor taste. But when Renjun hyung pushed the plate in front of me, smoking and sizzling hot, albeit not perfectly since the sausage and the fried rice are a little burnt, his hopeful smile is enough to make me wish I could.

I don’t know if wishes are real, or if they ever come true. I just can’t help but to just to make the older boy’s efforts worth it. It’s hard to judge when you only have the eyes, and everything else is just _gone_.

So I ate it. Chewed the still smoking rice with ease and indifference.

“Sorry, it’s not that good right? I’m not really the best in cooking and add the fact that I'm in a hurry. I overslept. I know I promised you we’ll go to the police station as soon as the sun rises to find your parents,” he apologized.

Tilting my head, I stare at him. Is that really something to say sorry for? Oversleeping, burnt food, broken promises. Aren’t those normal occurrences?

“It’s okay. I don’t mind going in late, hyung.”

What’s the difference between late and early? It makes me wonder- why is there such a thing? The time, is it that important that humans fret over it? Thinking back, I don’t think I minded time that much. Honestly, I don’t remember a day when I asked and worry about time. Perhaps that is the reason all of this is new to me. I’ve never had someone apologized to me just because they lost track of something I am not concerned with in the first place. _Time- is it that important?_

I look around me. Renjun’s kitchen is arranged simply. He still wore his red apron, and all the dishes are toppled on the sink. There’s a blind letting in a few rays of sunlight to come through. And then a small clock by the middle.

The clock has two arrows and 12 numbers in fair distance to each other. I’m pretty sure we never had this back to where I came from. But magically I know it’s a clock, along with the way it works.

After eating, Renjun and I get ready to visit the local station. Again, hyung lent me one of his old clothes. “Thank god I packed them with me when I moved out. I swear I was just about to put them for donation one of these months,” Renjun hyung had said. And I smile at that after thanking him. I really really like Renjun hyung’s clothes. They fit me so well as if they’re mine.

When we reached the station, the police there asked me and Renjun hyung a few questions. Hyung had been so kind as to explain everything to the police, also urging them to go easy on me. So when the police had demanded me for information, there really is not much to say since hyung already informed them I was suffering from memory loss.

Unfortunately, they said no one has filed a report regarding a missing child. They conclude my age as 11 years old and asked me to pose for a formal picture. The man said he would try to spread my photos from the nearby stations if ever someone was looking for me. I doubt that, of course. I don’t think someone is looking for me.

I don’t think I ever have someone.

After giving his contact number, Renjun bowed and we both left the police station with slumped shoulders. Or more like Renjun hyung only. I don’t really mind staying with him for a few more days. I actually want to.

“Yue-ah, wait here okay? I’ll call us a cab.” Renjun hyung left me to cross the street and find a taxi. I hummed and kicked a few stones with the tip of my (Renjun hyung’s) shoes.

“Hmm, what a fresh change of surroundings eh? Do you like in here little boy?” a voice suddenly speaks from beside me.

I turn around to see the same face of a man who introduces himself as Time. The same face I only ever knew and is clear in my head. Right. I almost forgot about him. Where did he go anyway? We both jumped at the same time and yet I am alone when I land in here.

“Where have you been?” I demand.

Like his usual self whenever he showed in front of me, he had a cocky smile and a raised eyebrow, as if challenging me to answer my own question.

“Oh, I’m everywhere except in that house.”

“What do you even mean by that? What is this all about really? Can’t you at least tell me please?” I pleaded.

But he ignored me. Instead, he flicked his fingers, eyes trained over someone’s back standing by the other street. I recognized the figure as Renjun, still waiting for the cab that is yet to come.

“Do you know him?” He cocked a head over Renjun’s way.

“Renjun hyung?”

His smile grew wider at the name that leaves passed my lips. “Ahh. I see you know his name huh?”

“That’s one thing I am confused about. Why do I know him? He said we never met before. But I know his name as soon as we met when I can’t even remember mine. And you won’t even tell me.”

Time released a hearty laugh. “Worry not, little one. You’ll come to know soon, I promise.”

“So what am I doing here then? Why did you send me here?”

“Oh, but isn’t your choice to jump? I did not send you here, boy, you _came_ here on your own. Long long time ago, you’ve always dreamed of flying; jumping into the unknown. But your wings are clipped- sadly.”

As always, this hyung spoke of words too profound for my poor knowledge to read and understand. I could never decipher his words. I don’t think I ever will. I had a feeling I just gave up trying long ago somewhere in the middle.

“Do you know what creates this world?” he began. “It’s not love, nor life, or even money. It’s time. Time is the master of everything. You can’t have love if the time doesn’t agree with you. Nor can you have money if time turns its back on you. And life? You lose life once time left you. And I’ve told you there is no such thing as places, little boy, only time. Time is a place, time is life. You’ll always be surprised how one second can change _everything_.”

Time laughed in delight and I saw Renjun coming back from the sidewalk at the peripheral vision of my eyes. Looks like he had seen hyung too because Time had announced his departure after putting his hands on his coat’s thick pockets. His old-style hat showing only his half-smirk but never his cunning eyes.

But before he leaves, he said one last thing that only heated the growing questions inside me.

“7 days should be enough, don’t you think?”

And then he’s gone.

***

Back in Renjun hyung’s apartment, there is an invading silence that traps the both of us. I guess Renjun hyung is not much of a talker, only speaking when needed. I don’t really mind. Actually, I enjoy the comfortable silence shared between us; in the cab, through our walks, even when we enter his just as quiet apartment.

I wore the fuzzy slippers Renjun hyung hands me. The sky is so bright outside it hurts my unused eyes. Though I don’t have to worry about it here because hyung had all his curtains and blinds drawn, blocking the sunlight from passing through the sofa. At the countertop, I saw hyung placing his keys.

“Yue-ah, hyung will be in his room to change his clothes. But I ordered jjajangmyeon for lunch. Will you be okay with that?” Renjun hyung asked from the kitchen.

“Yes hyung. It’s okay.” Jajjangmyeon? How does it tastes like again? In my mind, I imagine a really delicious noodle covered in black sauce. _‘_ _Will I be able to know?’_

“If the delivery guy knocks, don’t open yet and call for me first, okay?”

“I understand hyung!”

I heard the door of Renjun hyung’s room closing. From the sofa, I stare at the small and empty hallway that directs to the bedrooms. I look around the apartment. The walls have the clean color of white, a long sofa and a single couch in pale brown. At the center is a mini glass table and then a flat screen in front. All the extensions aren’t plugged and I wonder if Renjun hyung likes to watch TV.

I stare blankly at the glass table. In my mind, I imagined Renjun hyung sitting on the floor (not on the sofa), eating chips and drinking juice while watching a variety show on TV. _Running Man, perhaps?_ He is grinning and laughing, making his eyes crinkle in beautiful shape. He wore a grey hoodie this time, and his hair is in a dark shade of raven. He grabbed the remote resting on the table to maximize the volume because his roommate, Chenle, is too loud.

‘ _Wait... what?’_

I blinked. Suddenly, the image in my head shattered, fading away from the pit of my memory as I sat straight. Those are not simple scenarios I tried to imagine. Those are _real ones_ that truly happened or will happen in reality. There is no way it was all just a product of my imagination because it felt so real.

“What is this?”

I scan the empty area. There is no laughing, Renjun is not here, and who is Chenle? I felt like I should know him. I thought so hard, dig into the extent of my unreliable memory. There is nothing. Only an image of a male younger than Renjun hyung, with pale white skin and dark black hair.

My train of thoughts was put into a halt when the sound of a doorbell rang. I quickly get up and knocks on Renjun hyung’s room.

“Hyung, I think our food is here,” I called out.

It took Renjun hyung a whole minute before he answered. “Right. I’ll be there!”

‘ _Huh?’_ Something’s weird. The way Renjun hyung spoke, the tone he applied, and his voice itself. Is it just my imagination? Lately, I think that’s all I’ve been doing. To overthink and question even the simplest things.

When Renjun hyung finally opened his door, his lips are stretched in a bright grin. My eyes look down his clothes. He now wears a long-sleeved yellow sweater and comfy pants. He easily slung an arm around my nape due to our height differences, and then we both unlocked the door for the delivery guy.

While eating, my eyes never left Renjun hyung’s face. Probably because it’s the only thing I could focus on and study. Since this food tastes just as bland as the breakfast I had this morning, it doesn’t feel like I am eating anything at all. Just chewing my mouth on repeat, I couldn’t even feel the texture or the heaviness of the noodle atop my tongue.

Unlike me, Renjun enjoys his food like it’s his last. He bobs his head, smiles before putting a serving in his mouth, and then he eats it to his heart’s content. It’s both pleasing and entertaining to look at. I wonder if everyone eats like that. It’s a pity I couldn’t.

And then I noticed it. Renjun hyung looks so tired. Especially the looming circles under his eyes and restlessness behind those long and pretty eyelashes.

“Hyung, are you not able to sleep well last night?”

He stopped eating, eying me. He swallowed the food in his mouth before putting down his bowl and smiling. “Mmm. I was watching my favorite anime that’s why. I was a few episodes left to the ending. So I figured, “Why not let’s end this tonight”. That’s my original plan anyway.” Hyung grins, shrugging before he dives into his jjajangmyeon.

“Sorry. I ruined your plans.”

“Hey, no. It’s okay. I’d rather have met you than let you roam around the street in the middle of the night all bruised and weak. The world is a scary place,” Renjun chuckles.

“Hyung, do you like jjajangmyeon?”

Renjun hyung looks taken aback by my random question. But he got over it in a second before he gave me a reply. “Yes, I like jjajangmyeon. In fact, I’m a fan of noodles and pasta.”

I don’t know what got me to say the next words, but it’s too late to take it back when I realize my lie. “Me too.”

“Really? What’s your favorite pasta?” Renjun hyung said out of interest.

I thought about it. Nothing came to mind but a plate of pasta covered in white sauce. “Carbonara.”

I swear hyung’s eyes sparkled after hearing my answer. “Woah, me too! God, we should definitely go to this pasta house I know. They serve the best carbonara and chicken sandwich.”

“I like chicken sandwich too. And in noodles, I like anything spicy.”

“Oh kid, you could be my new food buddy. Here, if I ever passed on my job interview and launch my first job, I will treat you! That is, of course, if you’re still here by that time,” Renjun hyung offered a smile.

“I can’t wait, hyung,” is my answer.

The whole time, we talked about random things, shared each other information, and realized we’re so much alike in a lot of 'em. In between, we also made promises we both know deep inside the chances to be fulfilled are 10 out of a hundred. We still did it anyway. I guess that’s the power of a promise. It creates hope in all of us.

Renjun hyung likes to stay in his room. I have nothing against that really. There’s just this uncomfortable feeling that pinches my heart every time I hear his door closing. I wish I could go inside. I wish Renjun hyung would ask me in.

But he didn’t. Renjun hyung opened the TV for me before he excused himself to take a nap. The TV series playing as a background noise while I kept my eyes on Renjun hyung’s still unopened door. I wonder what he’s doing that even when the sun sets and the sky turns to grey, he never comes out.

***

By the time the two arrows on the wall clock point at numbers 7 and 12, hyung finally came out of his room. Still wearing the yellow sweater that I swear looks so good on him. Other than that, there are two things I noticed when hyung passed by in front of me. His hair is messy- edges of his locks sticking in different direction- while his eyes are puffy.

Did he not sleep well? I wonder.

Hyung had apologized again because all he could serve me for dinner is a cup of noodles. In my head, I know it isn’t necessary. Not when my tongue couldn’t even differentiate the food that the guest should be thankful for and the food that the owner of the house should be sorry for. They all taste the same. Every food is on the same level of importance- all needed to survive. It’s downright stupid to classify them with their taste.

I think hyung likes this cup noodle. His head was bouncing and he’s making these small sounds of pleasure while drinking the soup. How precious- his smile.

There is a knock on the door, and hyung got up to open it. Not without saying an, “Oh, it’s probably Chenle.” _Chenle._ He’s that boy with the black hair who speaks and laughs in a high bent tone. I remember him. I just didn’t know from where.

He’s the same as to how I see him in my head. He dons an adorable smile, and the quiet apartment had brightened up with the sound of his loud and cheery voice as soon as Renjun hyung opens the door for him.

Chenle screeched when he saw me.

“HYUNG! Who is that kid?!” he asked, pointing a finger at me as he stared wide-eyed over Renjun hyung.

“Oh, him. It’s a long story, Lele-ah. I’m pretty sure Jisung will be bored waiting for you if I told you now. But you can call him Yue. He’ll be staying here with me for a while,” Renjun hyung answered with a soft smile.

I bowed my head. “Hello, Chenle hyung.”

In a span of a second, I saw Chenle hyung’s eyes sparkle in adoration. “Oh my God, hyung, he’s so adorable!” And before I could comment anything to that, he had me by his arms, squishing the life out of me.

I don’t know why, but my eyes shut. My arms automatically moving to wrap around this boy’s frame. I normally don’t feel anything but it’s different. _This is different._ It feels right in every possible way.

“Aww and he’s hugging me back too! Since when were you able to snatch such a cute and adorable kid, hyung?” Chenle had let go of me. And I tried my hardest to keep myself on place and not follow after the scent of his arms.

“I told you, I’ll tell the details in our group chat. Right now, move! You just told me Jisung is waiting in his car and that you two still have a date to go. Pick up your things, they’re in your room. I didn’t touch anything.”

Chenle hyung rolled his eyes. “Please, you won’t even notice our messages in the group chat.”

Renjun hyung laughed. “I will. I’ll look after them tonight, I promise. I was just busy.”

“Right. Because so many companies want _the_ Huang Renjun to work for them huh? Alright alright. I’ll just grab my things now and go. But make sure you open your messenger tonight! Jaemin and Jeno hyung have some announcement to make.”

“Yeah, haha. I’ll open them tonight, don’t worry.” Renjun hyung touched his nape, then nodded. He is smiling and chuckling, ushering and pushing Chenle to his old room- which is now my room. I was looking and observing his face, half-full cup noodles forgotten on the table, as I watch him interact with his former roommate.

For a millisecond. something drifted in his eyes. Something floating on the opposite side of happiness. But it was gone just as quick as a lightning flashing in a cloudy sky.

Renjun and Chenle hyung both return, with the latter now holding a couple of boxes in his arm that hide half of his face. Only the mop of his black hair is seen behind those boxes.

“You sure you don’t need me to carry ‘em for you?” Renjun hyung asked.

“Nah, it’s okay. I can take them. Besides, Jisung’s waiting and there’s a rain shower outside. I’ll just be off now hyung,” Chenle hyung answered.

Nodding, Renjun hyung points at the boxes. “Okay. Is that all of it? You sure you didn’t forget anything?”

“Sure of it. As for my pillows and bedsheets, the little boy could use it for a while. ‘Sides, me and Jisungie will be sharing a bed in our apartment anyway so... hihi.”

“Yah, Chenle! We don’t need to hear about your gross domestic life with Jisung!”

Chenle hyung giggles. “A’ight, we’ll get going now hyung. I’ll tell Jisung you said hi. Bye kid! Take care of Renjun hyung, okay? He might be older but I swear he’s still as good as a kid sometimes.” With his very best efforts, Chenle hyung attempts to give me a wave with his full hands.

I heard their fading footsteps and then the dying laughter when Renjun hyung finally closes the front door of his apartment. My ears perked up over the return of the thick silence once again. I wonder why Renjun hyung is taking so long to come back here in the dining.

When he did, he was beaming, full teeth on display with his wide smile. For some reason, it irks me. I hated it.

We ate in silence. From time to time I'd still look up to see if Renjun hyung is still bobbing his head and chewing in satisfaction like how he did before Chenle hyung came. He isn’t. He still had a smile though. Even when pretending to blow the now obviously cold soup, his smile never falters.

“Yue-ah, you can go watch TV if you want. Hyung will be cleaning this,” he claimed.

I nodded, feet running to the living room, and then turning on the television. Most of the time, I couldn’t fully understand half of what is going on over the drama they were playing. But I like the different emotions these people inside the screen portrays. They can make any food mouthwatering, they can portray what sorrow is like. They can laugh and create a portrait of happiness and delight, they can kiss and create an image of love. They can make the rain look pretty and sad at the same time. They can make life worthwhile.

Looking outside, there’s a pouring rain I was hearing tapping from the glass window. I head over it and parted the grey curtains. Droplets of rain races and dribbles on the transparent glass. _It’s lovely._

I did not realize I was smiling the whole time those raindrops race to slide over the bottom of the window. It was entertaining to watch and the sound of the rainfall hitting the glass is calming to the ear. I lean closer, looking passed the fog and the droplets to see the streets outside. It’s dark there, with no one bothering to be out in the pouring rain. There is only a single light post, lighting up the wet and slippery roads.

“Do you like rains?”

I nodded at Renjun hyung’s question. He is standing in front of me, arms crossed and face incredibly serious, as he, too, stare out the window.

“Hmm, typical for the young like you,” he answered.

“Do you like the rain?” I peek over his side.

“No. I hate it.”

Frowning, I asked, “But why?”

“It’s uncomfortable. It produces cold and chilly weather that I absolutely dislike. And it’s too loud in the ears sometimes. It creates wet and slipper road. It also never fails to trouble people who wanna go out and have fun under the sun. Rain is a disaster. Nothing ever goes right when it rains. I wish it doesn’t exist.”

It was surprising to hear a comment like this from someone who happens to be an avid hater of one of the things you like. I couldn’t see his point at all. And if he’ll ask me, I could say a million things that could object to that. But I kept mum. I didn’t have to oppose him, nor did I have to agree with him. Sometimes, you just let it be.

Poor little rains. Hated so much when they do nothing but to simply exist.

Renjun hyung heads off to bed early after cleaning my bruises. He still asked me how I got them and I still have no answer to give. Hyung promised me he’ll contact the police again tomorrow for any updates. He told me I could go watch TV and eat some biscuits from his stock if I want. I refused. We both close the door after declaring each other goodnights.

There are markings on my pale white pillow when I join my bed. Looking closely, I found the shape of the marks to be round- like a drop of a liquid. I trace it with my fingers, figuring it’s already dry. Though not yet enough for the stain to fully disappear in a piece of white fabric. There are a bunch of them. All close and nearby each other. The pillowcase is also wrinkled like someone had squished it- or hugged it.

I look at my door. Slowly and silently, I leave and head over Renjun hyung’s. His door is locked, as usual. I lie flat over the floor and peek through the small gap underneath. I saw his red carpet- and feet?

I squinted my eyes. It is Renjun hyung’s toes. I could still see the outline of his pants from earlier. From that position, he’s obviously sitting on the floor, not on his bed.

The rain had stopped, only leaving soft tapping over the ceiling. I pushed my ear on the door.

I heard Renjun hyung crying.


End file.
